The benefits of evaluations

I got my evaluations back today. These are the forms where the students have their chance to write whatever they like (or dislike) about their teachers. I was dreading this particular batch because I hadn't felt good about this class. It always was so hard to get any discussions going in class and I was certain that they had a good deal of skepticism about me and the class itself. But to my surprise, I got great comments from the students. They found me engaging and approachable and organized. Several of them said they learned something from me.
Now I know that sounds like bragging, but actually its more like surprise. How could I be so unaware? How did I manage to read the class so wrong? This really makes me wonder, how in touch are we really with what goes on in the classroom? How could I be so wrong about myself? Is it just that I am my own worst critic, or is something else going on here? Does this lack of confidence infuse my writing to? Gosh...

Maybe I just expect too much from the classroom. I have visions of book discussions that resemble the discussions that my writing group has about books we've read. In these discussions we analyse the meaning of the book, the use of symbols and metaphors. We review the writing style and try to understand what we do or don't like about it and what parts we can adapt and adopt in our own writing. We discuss at great length what the author was trying to achieve. But maybe what I have to realise is that all those years that have passed since we were in school have actually taught us something. Maybe it is totally appropriate that a bunch of middle aged writers have in depth discussions about books that I can't get a classroom of students to have. Maybe we really have learned something over the years.

I have to remember that a lot of years have passed since I was a university student. This should give me courage to be confident in my knowledge. Sometimes that is hard to have when I feel so out of touch with the students. I don't listen to the same music or understand their references, but then I guess that's okay, because I'm not 23 any more, so maybe they just don't expect that of me.

I'm feeling pretty good today about teaching and writing. Yahoo for a good evaluation.

Daily writing and the writing day

A writing mentor told me years ago that it is important to write every day. Of course I didn’t follow that advice, I have a life after all. It’s hard enough to find some time to write, let alone some time every day. But now I have a couple of weeks off and I’m writing every day, and I am reminded of that advice and how wise it is. Not because writing every day makes us better writers, but because writing every day makes us write. The more we write the more we write. It seems obvious, but it isn’t really. As days go by without any writing, I forget to make the time to write. Other things like getting Rowan to his soccer game, or making it to the grocery store before it closes, become more important. The writing time slips off the list to lie forgotten on the floor. But when I write each day, I remember to make time the next day to write, and the next day after that, and the next day. And suddenly a project is closer to completion. It seems so easy, so simple. So now, as part of living as an artist, I am going to talk to my family about structuring our days so that I have a bit of time each day for writing. Maybe that way some of my half started projects will actually get finished.

Okay, so I decided to take some action. To talk to the publishers, to prod my husband about getting something happening with his work. And the results--good. Things are moving again. The publishers had some ideas of how to move forward, and while I am still waiting, at least I am waiting with some forward momentum. I like that feeling.

Karmic Virtues Of Waiting

I've been pondering the karmic virtues of waiting. I seem to spend a lot of my time waiting for things, and the question I have is, is it better to wait--to let the fates have their way and to flow with life, or to take control and move things along, even when it might seem like a backwards movement? For example, an editor has had a little manuscript of mine for quite some time now. We have worked a lot on it together, and she is enthusiastic about it. But, the publishing house doesn't have any money right now, so progress on the book has been stalled. I like working with this woman, and want to stay with her, so I keep waiting. But maybe that's not the right thing. Maybe I should just take the manuscript back and start again, looking for another publisher. My husband is in the same position with a job. To wait, while the slow cogs of bureaucracy turn, in the hopes that the time and energy he has put in will pay off, or to make a change and take his chances there. This is the question he asks. Now that I have written this, the answer seems more clear. Taking control always seems like a good thing. although, I also see virtue in letting life flow over us. Maybe what I should really cultivate is patience!

Garden Photos

Living Art

Walking home today I was thinking about all of the art that surrounds us. The cakes my cousin makes for her friends, the flower arrangements I saw at an art opening. The quilts my Mum makes. All those things that we love and which make our lives beautiful, but which no one ever pays for or gives us awards for or interviews us about. The home art. I'd like to start celebrating these small bits of art that people, usually women, but not always, bring into my life. I'm pondering ways to do this, and thinking about what makes art art. Why are some types of art things that can be sold for lots of money or currated on a wall for many people to enjoy and other pieces of art we just say oh that's nice and never think about it again. There's something there about how capital A art is more thought provoking, or pushes us in some way. But the home art holds something else in it. An expression of creativity, a fine use of colour or texture. These things are often gifts of love. These are important expressions of art too aren't they? These are my musings of the day as I walk home with the dog.

Computer Stores and Consumer Destiny

Most visits to computer stores are fraught with frustration, but yesterday I had a rare enjoyable trip. Mostly when I go to computer stores the service people are trying to get me to throw out my old computer and buy a new, better one. Mostly they say things like “it’s going to be out of date in a year anyway.” And I always ask’ what do you mean by better?” “Faster” is usually the answer, and, of course, there is nothing wrong with “faster” except that I don’t need it. What I really want is a computer that will last longer and work. What I want is a computer that won’t break down every few months and need to be entirely replaced. Imagine that—a computer that would last for years and years, like fridges and washing machines. Would it be all that hard? Could it not be that when something in my computer broke that piece was simply fixed or replaced, leaving me still with my old but repaired computer?
Every time a piece of electronic equipment dies and we put it on the growing pile in our house, I think of the mountains of electronic waste that are growing around the world. E-waste is fast becoming the biggest source of garbage in the world. And not only that, much of it is toxic. United Nations estimates say that some 20-50 million metric tonnes of e-waste, including lead, cadmium, mercury and other hazardous substances are dumped every yea. Hence my reluctance to buy new computers all the time. (Well, that and the cost of course). And hence my delight yesterday when I got a call from the computer store telling me that whatever was wrong in my computer had been replaced.
I went to the store to pick up my computer, and as I was turning it on to make sure it really was working, the man behind the counter said “that should last a while”. Imagine my delight. In fact I was so happy at this sentiment that I didn’t even ask him how long “a while” was. I knew I would be disappointed in the answer, and I wanted to savour the moment. It wasn’t the duration that was important; it was his believe that lasting “a while” was a good thing.

Living As an Artist

Welcome to my year of...no wait, that's already been done, hasn't it? A year of living without made in China, a year of eating locally, a year of doing everything Oprah says. All good and interesting projects. But I think I'm looking for something different. How about welcome to my blog about learning to live as an artist?

Living as an artist may not sound difficult to you, but to me it is, because it's about more than working with words and fabrics. Those are my more obvious mediums, but to me living as an artist is also about applying the focus and intentionality I strive for in my art to other, more philosophical parts of my life. Shopping for example. Don't laugh. I'm serious. I'm trying to learn how to be a conscious consumer in the same way I try to be a fabric artists or a writer. I am trying to set out my intention, apply focus, and do my best work.

It's not as frivolous as it sounds. We hope, as artists, to make an impact on the world. I know, as a consumer, that I do make an impact every time I make a consumer related choice. So I am trying to ensure that impact is a positive one. I'm trying to make choices to buy products that support economies in need, empower women, are made in ecologically sensitive ways, and/or support local artists or artisans or farmers.

In what way am I living as an artist when I make consumer choices? It's not that I'm making art by being a consumer --that would be a stretch--it's just that I am trying to be deliberate, to be intentional, to be focused, to consciously make choices, much as I would as a writer.

There's more. Living as an artist is not only about applying artistic principals and strategies to different parts of life. Living as an artist is also about making art a high priority in our lives. So many artists I know, and I am the top of this list for this, spend much of their time working, being parents or partners, members of a community, being the person who keeps the house clean, does the laundry, goes grocery shopping and generally keeps the house going. So how is it possible to make being an artist a priority amid all of this? That is another question I am going to try to answer in my attempt to learn about living as an artist.

My first strategy is a simple one. I have joined a group of women who have devised for themselves a novel writing month. The real novel writing month is November, but we are going out on our own in April. I've been working on a novel for years, spinning my wheels, never quite finding time to put into it. So here goes. novel writing month here I come. And with it intentional consumerism. I'll let you know how it goes.